Intimacy
by Ivy.Crazy
Summary: When returning home from work, Bella finds Edward with his ex-girl friend under questionable circumstances and gets irrationally jealous leading to a very dramatic end to the day.


**INTIMACY**

**Author : **Ivy

**Rating : **T

**Pairing :** Bella Swan X Edward Cullen

Genre : **Romance/Drama**

Disclaime**r:** I do not under any circumstance own the cast of Twilight. Sole property rights go to Stephanie Meyer.

**SUMMARY :** When returning home from work, Bella finds Edward with his ex-girl friend under questionable circumstances and gets irrationally jealous leading to a very dramatic end to the day.

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My name is Isabella Marie Swan, actually it has changed to Isabella Cullen. I am a research oncologist at Stanford. I also have a degree in pediatrics and help around the hospital when needed. I love children. It is actually a pleasure to be around them – their naiveties, adorable innocence, the total trust and the simplicity of every feeling, honest and faithful, absolutely unworried about the problems of the world….

Amazing really…

I am married to Edward Cullen, the human equivalent of God in all ways, especially my eyes, and I _may _be a _bit _biased. We were married just three months ago – it was an arranged marriage seeing as our families were very good friends, our mothers were inseparable.

I'm your average plain Jane, with dull brown eyes, glossy brown hair going down to my mid back, your every day slim figure , a high soprano voice, and not to blow my own trumpet but I'm quite brainy, I mean have to have something up there to get all those scholarships, laurels and end up university topper right?

And I'm from a poor family. We used to be well to do, but after the sudden death of my parents in a flight mishap, the family business declined and their insurances were used to settle all the bills and buy food and basic necessities.

Edward's mother heard and she helped me get settled. That was when I met Edward. He's like a neurosurgeon also at Stanford. I fell in love with him when I first laid eyes on him, and he says he loves me too, but I find it very hard to believe, I mean its just not possible for a world renown good-looking tennis player and doctor to fall in love with average me. Oh well.

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I walked into the house with my bag hung low on my shoulders, stethoscope around my neck, exhausted from running around the hospital treating patients of various illnesses. I slowly knotted up my hair and brushed my bangs away, feeling slightly dizzy. My stomach was acting up again. I have been getting these morning sicknesses but this is the first time it was troubling me during the night. I subconsciously locked the door to my deep blue Porsche – a wedding gift from Edward. Even this beautiful Victorian house was his 'gift' to me. It felt more like a deliberate reminder of my financial status. Or lack of it there of.

I instinctively closed the door and threw my keys into the bowl on the small shoe-rack next to it. We usually leave our shoes just inside by the door, a thing that we both agree on, given our fetish for cleanliness and so on, so much so that even our guests, believe me there are _many_, even they remove their shoes outside.

There were no extra pair of shoes next to his trainers and so I was quite surprised to hear a feminine voice coming from the living room. And it was vaguely familiar.

"Yeah, And did you see his face when I showed up behind him, it was priceless, wasn't it? Totally worth it" Edward's voice laughed, my head snapped up and I saw Tanya lounging on the love seat, Edward sitting on the recliner, laughing with each other hysterically. Edward never laughed like that except with me and his family. I immediately paled. My stomach felt nauseous but I put a smile on when he looked over at me.

"Bella, you recognize Tanya? She just came over to pick up some files for the patient whose operation is scheduled for tomorrow," he chuckled and looked over at her and winked, "then we...got… er… talking" he laughed again and she joined in.

My heart lurched, what the heck did that mean? The room took on an uncomfortable, awkward silence when I nodded, not sure of what my face expressed to them. I just froze there, like a deer in front of headlights approaching.

She stood, flipped her sleek, shiny blond hair and looked over at Edward with a breathtakingly gorgeous smile, her rich, silky hair cascaded slightly on her shoulders, and it was even more beautiful down. I watched a she reached over to him a brushed her lips across his cheeks, stayed there a little longer than necessary as if it was the most natural thing for her to do. Touching his arm with manicured fingers coated with blood red polish, she said in a sultry voice,

"Edward I guess I'll see you tomorrow, 10:30?"

"Sure thing" he said smiling back at her warmly. It may have just been my imagination, but I'm sure they had an unspoken conversation when their eyes met. My heart plunged further into my chest feeling even heavier.

She walked towards me, smiling, almost smirking as if she'd accomplished something. Why the heck was she coming over to me again? Oh right the door. And I'm in front of it. I moved a little to the side and looked at her, putting on a fake smile and nodded slightly.

"It was nice to meet you again on a more firm ground Bella."

I almost rolled my eyes. I recalled the last time I'd met her. It was almost a year before our wedding, just before our engagement ceremony. She was his former girlfriend – correction – lover. At least that was what the tabloids said. She was violently protesting the function and Esme literally had to throw her out with the aid of security. She had glared and cursed at me the whole time. She hadn't forgiven me even now for _stealing_ 'her' Edward.

"Hmm" I answered as she opened the door and slipped out, like the most natural thing in the world for her to do. Like her visiting a married man at twelve thirty in the night in his house, while his wife wasn't there, dressed in what I call scraps of cloth put together was a-okay.

"So, How was your day?" Edward asked, sliding back into his seat with a satisfied groan.

My mind flew, all my doubts, worries and uncertainties bombarding my head with questions, why was he so happy and excited that she was here, working with him again? Did he still want her?

I realized when I first saw her that she was far more beautiful than me, than what I'll ever be. She and Edward were perfect together. I reran their kiss in my mind; a subtle peck on the cheek, my mind ran on over drive, what if he still wanted her, like she appeared to want him? I could never compete with that. I couldn't and I wouldn't.

"Bella are you okay?" his worried voice broke my disconcerting reverie, I still hadn't answered his question but I asked a question on my before my mind could think of the implications it arose.

"What was Tanya doing here?" my tone was almost accusing.

"What?" he stood up, facing me, "I told you, she came to collect some files."

"How long ago?" my voice was certainly coarse now, "How long has it been since she arrived here?" I knew I was jealous. I knew it was wrong for me to take it out on Edward. I goddamn _knew_ that.

He tilted his head to the side and narrowed his feline eyes slightly, "What's this one about Bella?"

"Nothing," I answered too quickly, tearing my eyes away from his form, I crossed my arms across my chest, "I was just interested as to the reason why your ex is at our house to collect files for which I know you have copies of that case, heck copies of every single case you've ever worked on, in your laptop at the office. Your assistant also will have copies. I know. I'm also a doctor. Of your caliber too."

He was silent, probably thinking of the things I was implicating, he knew I thought he wanted her back, he had too. I looked back at him and his posture was almost identical to mine, we both stood across the room from each other, arms folded staring at each other fighting a battle no one wanted to win.

"Why don't you just say what you're thinking?" he demanded harshly.

My eyes widened.

"And what do you think I'm implying Edward? Why don't you tell me what I should think when I interrupt you on two on our date in the afternoon for lunch, letting her imply that I was the one interrupting the date and then hours later walk in on you again, alone in here, IN MY HOUSE?" my eyes started to water and the tears threatened to spill, all my insecurities screamed in my head.

"I'm not sleeping with her if that's what you mean."

His voice was low, harsher than before, his head cocked and his eyes were furious as if ordering me to understand and defy the statement '_I'm not sleeping with her'._

"That thought never even crossed my mind" I said numbly, I dropped my hands and looked down, the tears that I tried not to prevent falling in vain slipped past my eyes, trailing down my face.

Was he sleeping with her?

I never even brought that subject up, he did. It never _occurred _to me that my husband was having an affair with his ex. Was it his denial that led to his downfall?

"I um...I think I'm just gonna...um" 

I didn't know what to say.

What in the world was I supposed to say to that? I moved slowly, feeling suddenly dizzy as my stomach lurched again. I thought briefly about running from the apartment but I wasn't sure if he would let me go, he way was stronger than me. So I deftly made my way over to the guest room, never glancing back at Edward. I just couldn't. What would I see in his eyes? Irritation? Fear? Anxiety? Regret? Hate? Or worse – _Indifference?_

My stomach heaved again and I flung open the door of our bedroom and slammed it shut. I ran to the bathroom and threw up over the basin. After vomiting my innards out, I collapsed against the cabinet, shaking and shivering, my chest heaving, sobs racking through my body. I slowly got up and looked up at myself in the mirror. I was getting dizzier by the second and it was like someone was sapping away all my energy.

I warily turned on the tap and washed my face. I picked up a glass tumbler and filled with water. I looked at the mirror again taking in my appearance and everything that had happened so far came rushing back to me and a new wave of tears started. In the anger and sense of betrayal that I was feeling I didn't realize that I had applied too much pressure on the glass and it had shattered, slicing my hand deeply in various places as the glass pieces embedded on to my palm. My already weak body only dimly registered the pain.

My medical instincts kicked in when I recognized the various symptoms. I was a pediatrician. The daily morning sickness, the sudden dizziness the extraordinary appetite the mood swings all could point only to one thing.

_Shit_.I couldn't believe my luck. I was pregnant. Just when my husband was gonna divorce me, I get pregnant with his baby. Awesome timing huh?

Life is just _peachy_.

I quickly washed my face and mouth and turned to go to the room. The shards of glass on the floor pierced my feet and I stumbled and fell on my side and my whole arm was prickled and started to bleed profusely.

I barely registered the pain as I got up and crawled over to the bedroom and with great difficulty climbed on top of the bed, bloodying the white sheets. I looked up at the ceiling. My life as I knew it had long since ended. My carefully constructed career and newfound happiness had ceased to exist.

I analyzed my actions tonight. By opening the door of the room and walked through it, the gesture meant more than just walking into another room, I was turning away from the situation; I was letting the last statement eat at me, without confronting it straight out. I was turning my back on my Edward. If he was ever mine in the first place.

As I lay on the bed, I heard a crash. Edward must have broken something, or thrown something. I then heard a string of curses. Did I frustrate him that much? What if he is sleeping with her? What would happen to me and my baby?

I could never compete with Tanya, and I told myself over and over again crying silently. Even if I could, I would never stand in the way of Edward's

happiness. If he wanted out, I'd never bother him again.

And I also came to the conclusion that I would _not _tell him about the baby. He basically was a very possessive man and what was his usually stayed him. From a damn pen to his ex. And a baby, well, there was no question of that! And I was sick enough to want a piece of him for myself. Was that wrong? I mean, if he could sleep with Tanya after being married to me, not that that was something worth boasting about, couldn't I take away my own child?

As I wallowed in my bubble of self-pity, I heard a door slam shut. I cringed. Where was he going? To her house? Was he going to seek refuge in her? Would knowing really help my case?

I curled up in the soft bed for a long time, I couldn't help but think how much I would rather be in my own bed, in mine and Edward's bed, how I longed for his arms. I brought my knees up even further into my chest and sobbed quietly. What if they had done it in our bed? In our marital bed? The tears flowed with even greater intensity.

As the shudders racked through my body, the pain of the glass pieces provided some kind of a perverse outlet to my misery. Sighing, I looked at my arm and registered that luckily, the glass pieces were big in size and as I removed them, fresh blood oozed out with new streaks of pain moving down my arm. I really couldn't see how much worse my life could possibly get.

Then, my stomach growled loudly. I hadn't eaten the entire day. Every time I looked at food I was reminded of Edward and Tanya on their lunch date.

I was feeling nauseous again. How I longed for his breath in my ear, his arms around me, the pleasant weight of his body over me. I couldn't cry anymore. I had simply run out of tears.

A warm arm snaked under my head, I jumped and screamed in fright. I had landed on my injured arm and winced in pain, as the wound started bleeding again.

"It's just me Bella" he whispered in my ear. I sniffed loudly, an effect of the tears that ran down my face. I refused to turn to him; I refused to look into his beautiful, golden, betraying eyes. His other arm curled around my waist, bringing my body closer to his effortlessly. My back snuggled firmly in his chest, as if our bodies were made for each other. Yay. More fool me. Truthfully, I hadn't realized he had even come home, let alone sneak his way into the bed.

Then my overactive imagination provided images of high resolution of the very hands that were holding me on another woman, the honeyed deep resonating voice of his, whispering sweet nothings into another woman's ears, as his errant hands sought the woman's valleys and cervices, as his fingers wrecked havoc on another fuckin woman's senses. And I almost fainted from the hate I felt for the two of them. Who fuckin gave them the right to do this to me?

And then, "I'm sorry I said those things earlier" he murmured. And with as much intensity of hatred I felt but a few seconds ago, I was floored. That is how pathetic I am.

Then my mind replayed the scene all over again for the zillionth time and I cried out a helplessly when he reminded me.

"Please believe me; I've never regretted anything with you up until that moment that you accused me."

He nuzzled the back of my neck, my breathing hadn't quite regulated back to normal. And all comprehensive thoughts flew from my brain fleetingly when I felt his lips caress my skin.

"You know I would never do anything like that to you right?" he tightened his grip around my waist, bringing me closer to his chest, if that were at all possible.

"_Bella, I love you_"

I didn't say anything and as if hearing my silent negation, he continued, "Do you know the reason why you were told of your engagement to me only recently? I saw your picture in my mom's wallet. Once I saw you I fell in love with your beauty. My mom went on to describe your nature and I fell for you even more and when I finally met you I realized you were a God-send. You know that I'm aggressive... You know that I stop at nothing to get what I want and once I get it, I'm extremely possessive. I saw you had a crush on Black. I made my mom form an engagement between you and me knowing that once you were promised to someone you would never look at another guy again. It helped that your family wished the same. I love you Bella. To the point of obsession. Never doubt that."

My sobs started again when I thought of his words, I just couldn't let them go.

"Your _mine_, Bella. I love you. To the point of insanity, I'm completely captivated by you, you have me wrapped around your finger…"

"Please stop crying, please." He hoarse voice begged, pressing his face into the crook of my neck.. I wanted to listen to him, to give him whatever it was that he wanted, but I couldn't stop the tears.

He recoiled in horror, when he saw my bloody state. I shushed him quietly. He seemed almost beside himself with worry as he took in my condition. I shook my head at him and willed him to forget the wound and listen to me. Apparently it worked.

"I'm sorry Edward."

"Why are you apologizing? You have nothing to be sorry for. You did nothing wrong. I should have realized how the situation with Tanya looked. I mean how stupid am I? My ex shows up at _our_ lunch date." he squeezed me when he said our, to emphasize his point, "Then you walk in and she's here, at our safe haven." He paused. Nuzzling my neck again, I lay there, in silence. "But I swear to you, nothing is going on, I promise. I would never ever look at anyone but you; I couldn't do that, not to you,"

I sobbed again, thinking of Tanya.

I finally spoke, "It's just that she so bloody beautiful and you two look really impeccable together, and then when you kissed her goodbye, I could only think how perfect you looked doing it, how you two looked like the perfect couple, comfortable with each other. I could never compete with that" my body shook as I spoke the words, the awareness fully hit me.

"What?" He sounded furious as he pulled me back a little and I turned my head to finally look at his face. He was angry. Terribly angry.

"Is that what you think? That you're not good enough? For me_? BELLA!_"

"She is absolutely perfect" I grumbled looking away again. He shook me again and I met his eyes, this time shock evident across my teary pale face.

"You're right, you do have something to apologize for, being so silly."

I felt my eyebrows come together, "You have no idea, absolutely no friggin' idea of how much I love you." he sighed, twisting my shoulders so my body followed suit, I was lying facing him, lying on my good arm. "Listen to me you lovable idiot… Tanya is not perfect, she is exasperating and annoying."

I looked at him incredulously, for he sighed again, "She is ego centric, jealous, fashion freaked, can't cook yet she thinks she can, doesn't like children, lazy, obsessed with work, she can't sing to save her life, she pretends to be so nice to everyone yet she talks about them behind their back, she hates animals, she knows she looks good and she uses it to get her way."

I chuckled a little at his list, "And she was always jealous of everyone and everything, mom, the hospital, my _car-_ apparently it "monopolizes" my time, not accommodating at all, irritating and gets on my nerves." he rolled his eyes.

I smiled but not quite enough, "You know I love you, right?" I looked away, I'm sure I knew he loved me, "You do don't you?" he sounded brokenhearted.

"Yes Edward, of course I know you love me, I love you, but it's just that..." I trailed off,

"Just what?"

I looked at him, new tears brimming my eyes. "She's known you longer than I have, she knows you better, she knows stories I don't know, and she's much better-looking than I am..."

"We have stories, Bella." He murmured looking at my eyes, "you know more about me than she does, we create memories everyday and she is nowhere near as beautiful as you are. Even if you can't see it, I can. Everybody else can."

"But don't you want her?" I asked,

"Of course I don't want her, I could never want anyone else, not when you are there my every thought making it to the point of mania, not when you are here in my arms, never. Not while I have you"

I launched myself across the tiny space separating us and joined our lips together, I sighed into his mouth when his arms came to grip me, wrapping themselves around my torso, my arms flew around his neck and I pulled him on top of me, tighter. I moved my mouth against his, his tongue slipping out to touch my lips, his teeth nipping at my lips, which parted for him almost instantly. Our tongues fought passionately for dominance for a few seconds before I needed to breathe, I pulled away and moved to his neck, placing a string of kisses there, before moving both of us, with me lying on top of him.

"I," _kiss_, "am," _kiss_ "sorry," _kiss_, I moved up to his ear, taking the lobe into my mouth and nibbling on it, my teeth grazed it slightly and he groaned, his hand slipping down my thigh grabbing it tightly. "I," _kiss_, "shouldn't," _kiss_ "have," _kiss_, "been" _kiss_ "so jealous."

As I brought my mouth back to his, he reversed our positions and I pulled his shoulders down, his grasp around my body brought me with him and I was lying right under him. He let his knees fall comfortably around my thighs and I had to pull away from his kiss again, letting us both breathe.

"Don't be sorry, you're... endearing when you're jealous." He said in breathless anticipation, smiling that crooked smile that had first quite vanquished me so many years ago.

That was enough incentive for me to crash my mouth back to his, my tongue darted into his mouth frantically, my hands tracing down his body as his went to the hem of my shirt. I silently ordered him to pull it up and over hurriedly, breaking our scorching kiss for seconds. I returned my lips to his and his hands slid up from where they were resting on my thighs, lifting up my t-shirt slowly. This time he broke the kiss to impatiently tear the material off of me. I lay back as he straddled my waist.

He sat up quickly and reached for my bra and ripped the fabric off my body - the sound of tearing lace turning my already muddled brain to mush as he knew it would. He threw it on the floor and wrapped his arms around me again, hugging me close to his bare chest, I moaned out a little at the feel of him all over me.

As soon as I moaned, his hands instantly started to roam.

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"I love you so much" he whispered against my skin.

I pressed my forehead against Edward's as the pleasure rushed away from me. I pressed my lips to his again. He sighed my name and his head fell against my chest. We stayed like that, holing each other as our breathing slowed. He looked up at me.

"Can we get that arm of yours checked?" he asked. "And your palm? And your feet?"

I nodded up at him, smiling cheekily.

"We might as well."

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After returning from the guest room to our bedroom, where the glasses were removed from my skin painfully by my beloved husband,

"Can we go to our bed now? And while we are at it when were you planning to tell me you were pregnant? " he whispered wickedly, moving my hair from my face.

"My wife is a pediatrician ya know. Give me credit. " he replied to my questioning look.

I sighed blissfully and nodded up at him, leaning into his palm, kissing it. I seemed to be at a loss for words.

THE END

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I wanted it to be a citrus, but I chickened out in the end.

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ECBS –Edward Cullen Bella Swan.


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